tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize