8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
its liver damage thursday
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
