I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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