She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
it glows. i had to have it.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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