I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
