those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
