My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
