That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
