So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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