so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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