I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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