So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize