And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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