He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize