No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
