I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
