Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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