I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
