the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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