I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
