she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
