Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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