You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
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My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
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Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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