so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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