Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
