The maid of honor just puked.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
