we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
