I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize