We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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