forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize