he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
ttyl tear gas
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just puked most of my soul out..
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