Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
