hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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