no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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