im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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