Who did Billy Mays play for?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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