ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
