also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
