It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
