I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
is that a dick in a sweater?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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