I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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