We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
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Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
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Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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