If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
