Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
