You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
