hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
