Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
