Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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