Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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