I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
