i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize