If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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