you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
