dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
