I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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