I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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