When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
