I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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