The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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